The Dark Nightie

Heading to see the new Batman flick in IMAX today with my best friend, George. Mildly worried about my drastically underfunded bank account, and have dug into a pile of toonies to fund today's misadventure.

George and I took a screenplay writing class a couple of years ago, and have had a screenplay languishing ever since. More creativity has been lost via drinks and scattered notes than we will know. When I enter heaven, I expect God to play out my life on a big screen for me, and show a beach with two sets of footprints, then only one me an afternoon drinking and writing with George, freeze frame it, and say, "THINE FOURTH WHISKY SOUR PREVENTED THOU FROM SCRIBING AN OSCAR-WINNING SCREENPLAY, MY CHILD."

Apparently, there's a porn flick called "Batbabe: The Dark Nightie". Its synopsis on IMDb is as follows:

Bacchum City is being plagued by the maniacal Jerker who sets in motion a plan to steal all of the pornography in the land. He keeps it locked away in his phallically styled helicopter, waiting for the townsfolk to become consumed in sexual anxiety. But Wendy Wane, a strip club mogul by day, slips into her seductive alter ego Batbabe at night to combat the evils of The Jerker and his clown henchmen. Aided by hopelessly incompetent Commissioner Boredom and sexy lesbian District Attorney Henrietta Bent, Batbabe must summon the courage to continue promoting her standard random ten-minute promiscuities and corner The Jerker before he forces her to permanently retire.

I wonder who writes screenplays for porn? I could do that. It'd be 10 pages of dialogue for a 90 minute film, I'd think, with a lot of action lines that simply say:

CUT TO BONING

I believe with the above action, I can safely tell people I've written 80% of a (porn) screenplay.